Sometimes I catch people looking at my arms, Looking at all the horrific self harm, Wondering why someone would take a knife, Take it to their wrists and hack and slice. The scars that adorn my body I wear with pride, They are reminders to me of the times I should have died, I often […]Read More Scars
So many people feel ashamed when they look in the mirror, Sometimes what looks back at them make them shiver, They daren’t bare their skin in public, For the seemingly rational feeling of being insulted. Body dysmorphia is a very real thing, When you look at yourself it badly stings, You look at yourself and […]Read More What Do You See?
Oh how I wish I rewind to that fateful day, The day that broke me in so many ways, Getting attacked by a coward with a knife, I really didnt care if he took my life. I screamed at him to stab me in my heart, It had already been broken apart, I wanted him […]Read More Complex Post Traumatic Stress
All my life I’ve been I need to be a man, The thoughts that go through my mind they dont understand, Why I feel like I want to hurt myself, Why inside I’m screaming for some help. When I slit my throat at seventeen, The doctor I saw he was so mean, I almost hit […]Read More Toxic Masculinity
I just wanted to say to you it’s okay to not be okay, We all sometimes have the darkest of days, We all sometimes reach for help that’s not there, It sometimes seems like noone else cares. I just want you to know that this simply isn’t true, Someone out there deeply cares about you, […]Read More It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
It’s easy to look at someone elses life, See that they have settled down with kids & a wife, It seems like they have everything you don’t, A big house, nice car all on show. Dig a little deeper and you’ll find they envy you, They want what you have too They want to be […]Read More The Grass Isn’t Always Greener
My friends they all call me positive Dan, Ironically of course to hurt me as much as they can, I try to let it not get to me, It just encourages them all the more you see. My friends are not the enemy though, The enemy resides within me and grows, It grows and grows […]Read More Discounting the Positive
I cannot bear the pain that’s in my mind, Once I could see but now I’m blind, I realise now that I’m slowly running out of time, Strength I’m trying so desperately to find. All I want in this world of mine, Is just for a moments peace, that would be fine, I try to […]Read More Set Me Free
Preface Hi and welcome to my free eBook. It’s a compendium of poetry that was wrote over many, many years of my life some of it is biographical some of it is a little embellished. Its not all gold poetry sometimes I had zero clue what I was writing about. The first few I wrote […]Read More The Heroin Diaries
This is the 5th poem in my series of poetry detailing my journey through heroin addiction. I wrote this at the worst period of my life. I was ready to die at this point and I wrote this poem as a lasting legacy so that if my death could save even one person it wouldn’t […]Read More Stuck on the Conveyor Belt
This is the 4th poem in my series of poetry detailing my journey through heroin addiction. I wrote this to try and beat the stigma surrounding addiction to heroin and show that not all addicts are how you expect them to be as the picture I have added to this above. Stereotyping Do I fit […]Read More Stereotyping
This is the 3rd poem in my series of poetry detailing my journey through heroin addiction. I wrote this when my only love in life was heroin and its effects in a way I loved the substance more than any woman or person I have ever met. Kinda sad right? Unwrap the bag, unveil the […]Read More Euphoria
This is the second poem in my series of 16 each day of how I progressed from so called softer drugs to using heroin and the so called harder drugs like crack cocaine and it’s called progression Started off on the weed, Which then turned to speed, A chemical romance with uppers starts, Drugs that […]Read More Progression
This is the first poem in my series of 16 each day of how I started using heroin as a way of coping it’s simply called depression as when I wrote it a long time ago this was actually possibly the first poem I wrote as an adult and I didn’t really understand depression or […]Read More Depression
Why does something enrage you so? About something I did many years ago? Blind hatred of something you don’t understand, If you could just fuck off that would be grand. You didn’t even bother to read what I said, You replayed out some other scenario in that thick head, So here is your medicine and […]Read More Hypocrite
Right, well I guess this is it. This is the moment I finally admit to myself and everyone else that I used to be a heroin addict – the key part of that being ‘used to be’ a very, very, long time ago. This is my story and I hope to dispel some myths that […]Read More My Battle with Heroin Addiction and subsequent Sobriety and its links to my depression anxiety and mental health
It’s time to enjoy the Easter weekend, To spend time with family and friends, To eat as much as our bellies can hold, To buy every chocolate egg that is being sold. It’s important to remember why we celebrate, The cruxifiction of Jesus ordered by Pontius Pilate, Jesus could have been released but Barabas was […]Read More The Passion of The Christ
I’m screaming at you but somehow you can’t see, The agony and pain that’s inside of me, All I’ve ever wanted was to be somewhat happy, A bit of sunshine in my life I’d like to steal. It seems for some reason to allude me so, This incessant voice in my head won’t go, I […]Read More Sweet Silence
I went to a sombre funeral yesterday, Seeing that coffin laid in state, Moved me to tears such a waste, Another life that God chose to take. Got me thinking about it own fate, Whether for me it’s too late to be saved, I think to myself just survive til this date, I think for […]Read More The Bridge
When I felt like I was totally falling apart, You treat me as a human being from the very start You could see past all the physical and mental scars, With that beautiful golden heart. You had no idea just how much I hurt inside, You didn’t know that I felt like I had died, […]Read More Heart of Gold
I thought I had broken free of you, That feeling of being split in two, That feeling of emptiness, not knowing what to do, I forgot just how harsh you are and cruel. I wish I could make you go away, Even just for one f#cking day, But with my head you continue to play, […]Read More Here to Stay (Strength)
Some things happen in life that make us take stock, Someone slipping away it’s such a shock, It makes us realise just how lucky we are, That hopefully in our own lives our own demise is so far. To wake and hear someone close is dying, Makes you realise that you must keep on trying, […]Read More Life is Beautiful
It’s been 4 long years now since I made that decision, To rid myself of that which was clouding my vision, I didn’t realise how much it was affecting me, I didnt realise how imprisoned I was and unfree. For me I didn’t know how much of a problem it was, Until that is I […]Read More 4 Long Years (Sobriety)
You know that nagging voice in your head? The one that lies to you and says you’d be better off dead, Its not the real you that’s doing the talking, Don’t buy those goods that devil on your shoulder is hawking. If someone you love was in a deep dark despair, Would you be empathetic […]Read More Love Yourself
You use your words to perpetuate hate, You really are a hack of the fourth rate, Disguising your hate with fanciful words, Islamophobia is a fiction is just absurd. Yesterdays attack made you eat your vile utterances, All those people dying and suffering, From such an evil wicked targeted attack, It seems that empathy and […]Read More Peddler of Hate (RIP people of Christchurch)
You and me we just seemed to instantly click, The fact you are no longer here makes me sick, The memories I have of you are so vivid, So I decided to write this poem as a vigil. Danny how I miss you my friend, I know you just wanted your pain to end, I […]Read More 4 long years(Rest in Peace)
If only you could see just how much it hurts me, If only you could see how hard it is to fake being happy, If only you could be me for just one day, If only you could see just why I feel this way. All my life I’ve lived in constant pain, All my […]Read More Deaths Sweet Embrace
Some days I cannot feel a thing, Some days even the smallest slant stings, Some days I feel absolutely nothing at all. Some days I am just waiting for deaths call. I try to be the best that I can be, I try to be a decent human being, I try to make you all […]Read More Numb
Sometimes all I want people to see, Is I’m just trying to be the best man I can be, The past is gone and cannot be changed, My childhood and actions cannot be erased. I cannot change the fact I numbed the pain, With alcohol and drugs to calm my frantic brain, I just couldn’t […]Read More All in Vein
I can never ever forget what you did, When I was just a innocent young kid, I didn’t know what you were doing was wrong, I didn’t know the effects of your wandering hands would last so long. I’ve hated you for most of my existence, From me and what you did you tried to […]Read More Revenge???
Take me for what I am not for what you see, Take me for my actions not the words I speak, Take me for the man who hates to feel, Take me as a man who isnt false and real. My intentions for all are always good, If you treat me right I’ll treat you […]Read More Happiness?
When we first met things were just fine, I was yours and you were mine, A whirlwind romance soon blossomed, I fell in love with your sweet white bottom. You lulled me into a sense of false security, You made me feel like once again I was free, You made me feel like I could […]Read More Love at first Sight
There became a point of my life, Where I was led to the point of a knife, He wanted to rob me of my money, But I decided I just wanted to be put out of my misery. I told him to stab me in the heart, My life was already falling apart, It seemed […]Read More Freedom at knifepoint
If you can I ask you to take 5 minutes from today, To ask someone anyone if they are really okay, It’s okay to talk about your mental health, In fact to open up about it takes real strength. So whether it be face to face phone or text, Try to reach out to someone […]Read More Time to Talk
I try not to let my irrationalities control me, I need to stop believing my minds fallacies, They may seem really absurd to you, Or you think That I should just get a grip too. The smallest normal things that you take foregranted, Are all the things that I have always wanted, A closeness to […]Read More Fear Nothing???
No matter how hard I try it will never be good enough, I guess you could say I’m just not so tough, When I’m gone maybe people will finally see, That all I ever wanted was to be happy. To not be confined by the horrors of my own mind, To not be horrified by […]Read More Divine
Every day I die a little more inside, For not stopping your deviant desires, The police say there isn’t enough evidence, For your lurid abuse theft and violence. You stole my childhood, my innocence and my future, Your molesting hands on my body so putrid, How can I ever make anyone see? What happened to […]Read More Damaged
Existence is slowly sucking the life out of me, Oh how I yearn to finally be free, I’ll hand you this gun put it to my head, Please end this misery I want to be dead. I just can’t find the courage to do it on my own, So stick it to my brain and […]Read More Scope between my eyes
How can such evil ever be allowed to be forgotten, The conditions they lived in so hopeless & rotten, If you were lucky you got shot in the head, You couldn’t witness the horrors if you were dead. To see your own children emaciated to skin & bone, Haunted and terrified by the ever present […]Read More Never Forget (Holocaust Memorial Day)
If only things had worked out some other way, If only the world didn’t seem so cold and grey, If only I could find the words in which to say, If only I hadn’t made that fateful choice that day. Maybe my life would have been full of happiness, Maybe my life wouldn’t have been […]Read More What If?
When I was small, naive and innocent, You raped and took part of me in those incidents, You made me do things that I didn’t want to do, How could someone I trusted be so cruel. You ruined my life you horrible c#nt, When I told people they didn’t believe their own son, I have […]Read More Buried Memories
So I make a note and bury it inside my head, I wander down the path which I was blindly lead, Lay me down sweetly softly onto a crisp bed, Forget about all those words in error said. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest any longer They say what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, […]Read More Destiny??
I just wanted to make a point to you all, That mental illness is many a person’s downfall, Maybe sometimes you just cannot see, The pain that someone you know really feels. Mental health it affects all of us including you, Imagine what it feels to feel down and constantly blue, You know that friend […]Read More End The Stigma
Sometimes all we need on this life is a little space, To not have someone who is constantly in your face, Relationships are fine as long as it’s not co-dependence, This could be your friend, partner or your parents. You need to break free from these toxic relationships, Onto your own reality you need to […]Read More Breaking Free
Twas Christmas morning and it is absolute chaos, No sign of anything timid such as a mouse, Presents unwrapped loudly and frantically, Everyone rushing around maniacally. Christmas songs and games are played, These memories you make they will never fade, Remember to stay in that beautiful moment, Revel in the festiveness and gifts sent. Be […]Read More Christmas Presents
Are you ready for a night of alcohol, drugs and chaos? Are you ready to for your keys wallet and phone to be lost? It’s that time of the year once again, When people get absolutely blind drunk and insane. They only come out once in a blue moon, Once out of work they’ll start […]Read More Black Eye Friday
I’m sure someone is watching over me, For once a good presence that wants me to be happy, All my life I’ve hated myself in every way, Now I feel alive I treasure every single day. I pray to a God I’m not even sure exists, That I have so much more left to give, […]Read More Christmas Spirit
Theres a hole in my heart and I don’t know what to do, I wish I could turn back the clock that much is true, I didnt think of the possible consequence, Of my reaction making you full of despondence. Just know that you mean the world to me, You are the one who helped […]Read More Hole in my Heart
Do I really feel ready to allow someone in my life, Yes it’s true I really do want to settle down with kids and a wife, I just want to make sure that I’m in the right place, I don’t want to pick someone purely by their face. I need to get to know the […]Read More Ready for Love???
There is nothing more difficult than saying goodbye, When in this life all you have done is tried, To be the best person that you can be, Struggling desperately to become free. Your soul has become tired, worn and weary, Your heart is broken and you feel so teary, You assess whether you are a […]Read More Goodbye is the hardest word